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Fic: Eat Cute - B/S, PG,

First of the prompt fics. Fair waring, I may combine some of the prompts, but this one is all snippy_kitty

Eat Cute
By Barb C

Disclaimers: The usual. All belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy, and naught to me.
Rating: PG
Pairing/characters: Buffy/Spike, Gunn
Synopsis: "There's an order to the universe, Charlie."
Author’s notes: Written for snippy_kitty, who wanted Spike and Buffy making bento boxes. The story takes place in the same universe as "Raising In the Sun," "Necessary Evils," and "A Parliament of Monsters." It's set some time after the middle section of "An Ordinary Life," around 2013 on the Barbverse timeline.




"RRRRRRRAAAARRGGHH!"

Charles Gunn ducked, and the sticky, misshapen glob of rice hurtled past his head and splattered against the wall of the Summers-Pratts' kitchen. Spike was braced yellow-eyed and fangy against the kitchen island, ready to rip the whole thing out of the floor and send it after the rice ball. Gunn raised an eyebrow at the litter of bowls, knives, and plastic rice molds draped with the mangled corpses of vegetables. Yeah. This was gonna be classic. "I miss a major rumble with a celery demon?"

Spike's vampiric guise melted into features human but no less cranky. "'S all the bloody Slayer's fault!" He strode over to the refrigerator and wrenched the door open, pointing inside. "There's an order to the universe, Charlie, and you flout it at your peril. The bird makes the meals, the bloke eats 'em. And then washes the bloody dishes. Just you look at that!"

Gunn looked. On the top shelf was a glossy black bento box with a small grinning skull embossed on one corner. Spike snatched it out and thrust it into Gunn's hands, displacing the Post-It note reading "Spike's Lunch - ♥♥♥ Buffy." Gunn snapped it open. Nestled within was a Thermos of pig's blood, an artistic fan of wafer-thin slivers of raw beef wrapped around wedges of wasabi, a selection of colorful pickles, and a trio of animal-shaped...well, you couldn't really call 'em rice balls when they were molded out of pate, but likely a vampire wouldn't be a big carbohydrate fan. He glanced up. "Impressive. And that explains why you're going Freddy Krueger on the contents of the veggie drawer how?"

Spike slammed the refrigerator door shut. "It's not just a bloody lunch box, it's a sodding gesture of affection! Seems one of Buffy's girly little friends told her about how she trades 'em with the love of her bleeding life, and now the Slayer's all keen on matching boxes and cute little fucking cut-outs and if I don't reciprocate, there'll be hell to pay, and I mean that in a literal sense!" He waved despairingly at the devastated countertop. "What she's left out of her fiendish romantic calculations is I BLOODY WELL CAN'T COOK!"

Gunn couldn't repress the grin any longer. "You are so whipped."

"Tell me something I don't know, mate," Spike growled. He took a deep breath, gritted his teeth and squared off against the bowl of rice once more. "Now if you haven't got anything useful to contribute, sod off and leave me to my solitary hell."

"Are you kidding?" Gunn set the bento box down and kicked back against the counter. "You're lucky I'm not whippin' out my cell phone." He watched with interest as Spike plunged a sticky hand into the glutinous mass of white. "You take my advice, you'll just stand up for yourself. Tell her that there's certain things a man'll do for his lady, and certain things he won - aw, man, you're messin' it all up. That works way better if you pack the rice into ice cube trays the - "

"This girly 'friend' of Buffy's with the overly-attentive gentleman caller." Spike's eyes were glittering gold. "Her name wouldn't happen to be Dawn Gunn, would it?"

Gunn spread both hands in a display of innocence. "What? A brother can't be multicultural?"

"A brother-in-law's going to be dead meat if he doesn't lend me a hand with the fucking rice."

Gunn took pity. "Well, OK. But only 'cause you sweet-talked me into it." He sauntered over to the island. "This still means you're whipped, you know."

"Yeh, well..." Spike grinned. "'Long as I've got company."


END

Comments

( 54 comments — Leave a comment )
snippy_kitty
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
Spike making onigiri. You made my day, week, and month.

THANK YOU!
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
:D

I have a feeling that Buffy will regard it in the same way she regards his poetry - it's the thought that counts. *g*
mere_ubu
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:14 am (UTC)
Tell her that there's certain things a man'll do for his lady, and certain things he won - aw, man, you're messin' it all up.

Bwahahahahaa!!! Oh, I can practically smell the pickled ginger and frustration. Hilarious. And yay for Dawn Gunn! Were we already supposed to know about that, or is this the revelation of that particular connection? Either way, I like!

Edited at 2009-09-14 04:14 am (UTC)
(Anonymous)
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:18 am (UTC)
Dawn's wedding was featured in "An Ordinary Life," but at that point I hadn't figured out who the groom was. I tossed around several candidates, until it suddenly occurred to me that Gunn was absolutely perfect AND it's given me a couple of ideas for sub-plotty things to do in the back half of POM.
(no subject) - fenchurche - Sep. 14th, 2009 04:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rahirah - Sep. 14th, 2009 04:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - manoah - Sep. 14th, 2009 02:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rahirah - Sep. 14th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - manoah - Sep. 14th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rahirah - Sep. 14th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC) - Expand
framefolly
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:33 am (UTC)
SQUEEEEEEE!!!

> Gunn spread both hands in a display of innocence. "What? A brother can't be multicultural?"

I LOVE the way you can turn on the tv in my head so I can see AND hear them!

Yay Barb!Brain!
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
:) I haven't written Gunn before, so this is reassuring!
varina8
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:35 am (UTC)
I love the idea of Dawn/Gunn. And Spike making sushi to prove his love? Yeah, so whipped.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:46 am (UTC)
It's why we love him. *g*
thisficklemob
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:38 am (UTC)
Heh heh heh.

Poor whipped Spike. I can kinda cook, and I'd cringe at the prospect of trying to make a bento box. I'm just not that neat and orderly.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:45 am (UTC)
I think Spike is competent enough with the basics - open can, pour contents of can in saucepan, heat and serve. Or "put frozen things on tray, cook till not frozen." But yeah... not for beginners. Given Buffy's General Patton attitude in "Pangs," though, I figure she'd be a champ in no time. *g*
(no subject) - thisficklemob - Sep. 14th, 2009 05:12 am (UTC) - Expand
manoah
Sep. 14th, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
Domo, Barb-sama!
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)
:)
rebcake
Sep. 14th, 2009 05:17 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, Spike, honey. You've got lots of company. I imagine he'll come up with a distraction soon enough, though. There's lots of things he can do to demonstrate his affection that won't involve the kitchen in any way. Shibari, perhaps?

I love this so much, and not even entirely because of the Dawn/Gunn reveal! *squee!* Sunday: I like it.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC)
True. I can't really see Buffy keeping up that particular tradition for long. *g*
jamalov29
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:31 am (UTC)
Ah Ah Ah wonderful ! I love your whipped Spike so much .:D
And your Spike's voice is delightful.
Just what the doctor ordered on a Monday morning.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
moscow_watcher
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:46 am (UTC)
Bwahaha! Spike who has to cook for Buffy - priceless! :)
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC)
:D
paratti
Sep. 14th, 2009 08:24 am (UTC)
Fabulous:)
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
ubi4soft
Sep. 14th, 2009 08:46 am (UTC)
Love it!
There are not so many Spike/Gunn friendship stories, so, obviously, yours stands up.

rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)
I've been wanting to try writing Gunn for awhile, and this seemed like a good opportunity. :)
(Deleted comment)
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)
Working on it! :D
kassto
Sep. 14th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)
Are these bento boxes a new yankee trend..?

rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:19 pm (UTC)
They're Japanese lunchboxes, which come with a whole aesthetic tradition attached, and yes, they've become a bit of a fad in the US.
(no subject) - kassto - Sep. 15th, 2009 01:25 am (UTC) - Expand
quinara
Sep. 14th, 2009 09:50 am (UTC)
THIS IS FAB. And I love Gunn/Dawn!
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:19 pm (UTC)
:D
fluffybkitty
Sep. 14th, 2009 09:56 am (UTC)
Love this scene!
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
:D
slaymesoftly
Sep. 14th, 2009 11:43 am (UTC)
Hee! Another fun glimpse of life in the Summers-Pratt household. :)
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
:D
katiekat641
Sep. 14th, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Awww! I love it.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
:D
ayinhara
Sep. 14th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
I just read a feature in the NYTimes about mothers making bento box lunches for the children. You are certainly picking up this fad quickly for your 'verse. Actually I find the idea of Buffy having the patience for such endeavors more than slightly humorous.

As for Gunn, he is a good addition to your 'verse. Dawn and Gunn is quite original.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:38 pm (UTC)
Well, I imagine it will go rather like the Christmas cookies described in "To Grandmother's House." The first batch will be lovingly decorated in great detail. The second batch will be decorated, but not so much with the detail. The third batch will have frosting slapped on. And the fourth batch will be "Screw it, I'm eating the cookie dough." *g*
(no subject) - eowyn_315 - Sep. 15th, 2009 01:22 am (UTC) - Expand
herself_nyc
Sep. 14th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahahaha. Love it.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
:D
riccadonna
Sep. 14th, 2009 04:59 pm (UTC)
Is it funny or is it ridiculous? :)
But very sweet. I had never thought about Dawn and Gunn!!! But the real question is: how can you write about blood and liver patè and raw beef after having been sick just a couple of days ago?
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
I think the answeer to your first question is 'yes.' >:) As for your second, mmmmmm, raw beef...
snickfic
Sep. 14th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
That is adorable. And hilarious. I love the Spike&Gunn manvibes.
rahirah
Sep. 14th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
:D It's guy love.
(no subject) - snickfic - Sep. 14th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rahirah - Sep. 15th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC) - Expand
ladyofthelog
Sep. 15th, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
This story is adorable and brought a huge smile to my face. From someone who has made bentos - this is very true to tragedies that have occurred in my kitchen. Yay!

Edited at 2009-09-15 08:29 pm (UTC)
( 54 comments — Leave a comment )

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