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Love The One You're With
By Barb C
Pairing/Characters: Willow/Harmony
Rating: PG13
Notes: So I was starting to work on the experimental pairings prompts I got awhile back, and I'd picked out the het and m/m ones I wanted to do, and I was looking at the f/f ones, and they were all ones that either I like, or that I could see working under the right circumstances. "Darn," I said to myself. "There's nothing here that makes me go O_o... nothing like, say... Willow/Harmony." And then I got an idea. So: Barbverse, takes place a month or two after Willow moves to L.A.

When Willow woke up, her head was pounding (how could it pound when she didn't have a heartbeat?), her mouth was lined with cotton (and not nice clean fluffy cotton either, more like cotton that someone had dragged through a parking lot), and she had no idea where she was. Bed. In a bedroom. Not hers. But no mirror over the dresser, and blackout curtains, so... oh, no. Oh, no no no no-to-the-seventeenth-power no.

Half a dozen china unicorns, frozen in mid-frolic, stared balefully at her from the dresser.

She sat up, carefully, so her head wouldn't fall off. What happened to Willow? Decapitation by hangover. Very sad. Dust all over the sheets. She wasn't going to inhale just yet. She didn't need to. And there were some things you didn't want your nose to confirm. Other people collected unicorns. And had tacky inspirational posters with big-eyed kittens. And were vampires.

There were clothes on the floor. Some of them were hers. She gathered them up and balled them under one arm. One shoe missing. Willow Rosenberg, Vampire Detective, and The Mystery of the Missing Shoe. Or not. Bathroom. Water. Hot. In the shower she decided that trying to remember was Bad. Bad was to be avoided. She'd come to L.A. to start a new life, well, unlife, but she was pretty sure this warranted a do-over. There was rebound sex, and then there was... whatever this was. And anyway, the alcohol thing was a total cheat. Vampires couldn't absorb nutrients from human food, so why could they get drunk on just-as-human margaritas? Unfair.

There was a silk caftan hanging on a peg behind the door, and putting it on was easier than crawling into last night's funky outfit. She squinted into the condensation-fogged mirror, for once grateful that she couldn't see what she looked like, pulled the caftan tighter and stumbled out into the aggressively cheerful living room.

There was a collection of scummy glasses on the coffee table - that was a lot of little paper umbrellas - a stray shoe on the couch (solved!), and a naked vampire in the kitchenette, pouring raw eggs and pig's blood into a blender. "Oh, hey, you're up!" Harmony chirped, tossing bouncy golden locks over one shoulder. The gesture made other things bounce, too. She zapped the blender into overdrive. "OK, look, last night was great, but you cannot tell Spike, because we had this deal about Charlize Theron, and - "

Willow collapsed on the couch with a moan. There wasn't any reason not to inhale any more. Harmony shut off the blender and scurried over to the couch, dropping to her knees in a truly spectacular display of every reason Spike had put up with her so long. She caught Willow's hands. "I didn't mean it like that! Charlize Theron wouldn't be half as good as you were!"

She smiled. Hopeful. Like her tacky inspirational posters. The way she'd smiled at Spike, and Riley, and God knew who else. Eternally hopeful that this time, it was real.

And it wasn't. If Willow hadn't been lost and miserable and drunk... Harmony didn't even have a soul, and it wasn't like she'd been a prize when she did have one, and... "Do you have any Advil?"

Harmony's face lit up, and she bounced to her feet again and wow, she really was distractingly gorgeous - maybe Willow could just ask her to do jumping jacks or something till the pain went away. "Sure! I have an ice pack, too. And you should drink this - " Harm waved towards the blender. " - it's super high in protein. You know, I just got my six-month pin from Vampires Anonymous. I totally haven't killed anybody, and I just don't have anything to talk about with the other vamps around here - they're all 'Oooh, victims this,' and 'Oh, victims that!' But with you having a soul and everything, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"

Wincing, Willow took the handful of white tablets and washed them down with half a blender of pig's blood sludge. It actually smelled pretty good. "That's... kind of what I'm afraid of."


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( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 4th, 2012 05:48 am (UTC)
Ohmygosh... I'm laughing so hard! That was perfect! You actually made it work!
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:52 am (UTC)
I had some help from those margaritas. *g*
Aug. 4th, 2012 05:58 am (UTC)
This is such a hoot! Poor Willow.

Aug. 6th, 2012 03:52 am (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2012 06:24 am (UTC)
OMG! Now that's a pairing that would never, ever, in a milllion years have occurred to me. Hee! Poor hungover Willow and poor cheery hopeful Harmony.

You should get extra points for making something that should be total crack actually work!
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:55 am (UTC)
Heh, well, the whole point of this was to see if I could take pairings that made me go O_o and write them in such a way as to make people who ship them go "Not bad," so no matter how unusual the pairing, I'm aiming for the opposite of crack. *g*
Aug. 4th, 2012 07:22 am (UTC)
I bow to your brilliance. Willow truly is her sire's offspring — hangover, rebound sex, morning-after-regrets and all (not to mention that little jumping jacks brainstorm). Bet she's going to guard this little slip in judgment from Spike.

And, again, only you could make me feel sorry for Harmony this way. Poor thing should be just the comedic relief yet you always let us see how vulnerable she is and how aware she is of being unwanted. Poor Willow, she would sooner chew off her arm than have to have morning chit-chat with that girl but sneaking away without saying something is just too guilt-inducing for words.

Aug. 6th, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure this whole thing ends in tears, if only because Willow is very snarky to Harmony in "Every Silver Lining..." I suspect Harm dumps her for a guy...
(no subject) - varina8 - Aug. 8th, 2012 04:18 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 4th, 2012 01:40 pm (UTC)
You, evil, evil woman. But....lol. Though I think Spike could sympathize before he started laughing. How much you want to bet the "one time between Spike and Angel" happened the same way one drunk and stormy night.
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Could be. I know how it happens in my 'verse, and no alcohol is involved...
Aug. 4th, 2012 02:05 pm (UTC)
I would have loved to see a hookup that didn't require alcohol, but in its absence, this is almost as good :)
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2012 02:09 pm (UTC)
Heee! I love Willow's internal monologue here. "Decapitation by hangover" indeed.
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2012 02:50 pm (UTC)
Ooh, neat! Because it's funny and awful and poor, poor Harmony is my favourite tragic figure these days. Always hopeful and always let down.
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
I have a strong suspicion that in this case, Harmony is the dumper rather than the dumpee (Willow is very snarky towards her in "Every Silver Lining..." so I'm thinking Harmony dumps her for a guy...
Aug. 4th, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha! Poor Willow. Loved her knowing where she'd probably woke up and trying not to breathe for proof. Poor Harmony, so hopeful.
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2012 10:30 pm (UTC)
You've been Nominated at Kinda Gay Awards!
This message is to inform you that you've been nominated at kinda_gay_award.

All nominations MUST be accepted. To do so, please respond to this comment. You only have to respond once per round, (in the event that you receive this message more than once for multiple nominations). We ask you to post a link back to us using one of our site buttons, however this is not required to win.

Your nominations:

Love the One You're With by Barb C (PG-13; Willow/Harmony)

Category: Best Lighthearted

And if you want to say thanks, why not spread the love and nominate someone else?
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
Re: You've been Nominated at Kinda Gay Awards!
Accepted. :)
Aug. 4th, 2012 11:52 pm (UTC)
Vampires Anonymous... *g*
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Aug. 5th, 2012 01:52 pm (UTC)
I loved it! Poor little Harm needs a friend!
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:59 am (UTC)
Aug. 5th, 2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
You made this one work. Poor Harmony.
Aug. 6th, 2012 03:59 am (UTC)
Aug. 6th, 2012 04:04 pm (UTC)

Oh, wow. I do love how your mind works when it comes to picking topics to write about. :D

Dear, sweet, ever-hopeful Harmony! AW.
Aug. 8th, 2012 03:20 am (UTC)
Aug. 7th, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC)
Wow, this is super fun! I can totally see it happening, too.
Aug. 8th, 2012 03:21 am (UTC)
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